This one is for all the single Mum’s, Auntie’s and heck a laugh for all the men out there. I am Currently A single aunty who is putting herself out there to mingle, I’m on dating apps, friend apps, apps I don’t even know what they are for, but I’m on them all! Being almost 27 years old my brain is thinking, “Gosh Jen, that body clock is ticking, you need to find yourself someone and get to making the babies! Breed woman breeeeeed!”
I know, 27 is young but being a woman with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) my time frame is rather, what’s the word? Well let’s just say, I have better chances now. But moving away from the baby making side of things, we all seek someone’s company, we all want our own retard in tin foil, let’s be honest though, we all secretly want a Mr Grey to ‘love’ us right but shh, don’t tell your husbands ladies.
Being a single woman on dating apps has always been a rather interesting venture. You get the normal “Hi, how are you?” You answer so many of those it all becomes a bit of a blur really, like when you accidentally stare at an oncoming car's high beams for a second and suddenly there is that annoying spot in your vision, TURN YOUR HIGH BEAMS OFF YA ASSBUTT!
Of course, you get those random few who start of with something interesting like asking “What’s your favourite k-pop group?” then you find the oversharing Pierre’s who give you their whole life story before even saying ‘Hi’. Then you get Bhupinda from India who loves you and wants a wife, and you wonder what settings your damn account is on. And we can never forget, the dreaded, unsolicited, dick pic Richard, ready to show his Johnny to anyone brave enough to open his message.
And then, you strike gold with the ‘so bad it’s good’ pick-up lines. And that’s what I’m here to share with you today, a small fraction of the pick-up lines I get on the daily, don’t get me wrong, I find them bloody hilarious and props the guys for being different. So without further diddley doo, here are some of the lucky ones I picked out!
I know at times we are desperate for some love, but….with some of those lines…I can wait a little longer.
J. Marie
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