Now hear me out! I am ALL for natural therapies. I love a good gym sesh (when I actually do one). Fill my diffuser with Rejuvenate Oil and turn my house into an aromatherapy wonderland. Rock me hard with some Gem Stone love. But sometimes, just sometimes it's not enough. Sometimes you get so weighed down by life and your own fears in your head, that nothing seems to help.
That happened to me. I let myself fall into such a deep hole that even the wonderful things happening around me weren't enough to bring me out. All those natural therapies mentioned above, they did nothing for me. I was a big pile of rotten. My emotions were either all on, or all off. None of this in the middle where normal living is.
I felt like a shell of the person I was. Who I had been was gone and she didn't want to come back while I was suffering in silence. She'd clearly decided to sit on the sidelines, sick of trying to convince my broken ass to get my shit together and put my damn big girl pants on and ask for help.
Here I was dishing out all this sage advice to others, suffering similar, if not the same problem as I was. "Go seek professional help. Its not ok for you to live like this." Do as I say people, not as I do!
Well, you can only go through life like that for so long, eventually your brain will punish you for such neglect. For not rectifying the situation when I should have, my brain told me awful self hating things.
Well after that, "Sane" Jess, she came back for long enough to book "Depressed" Jess (who was out collecting eggs that fell out of the basket she dropped) a doctors appointment. An appointment that "In Denial" Jess DID NOT want to attend, because she wasn't depressed, and all these natural things were TOTALLY working, she'd feel better tomorrow.
I was not going to feel better tomorrow. I'd filled myself with such angst, anger, hurt, fear and sadness that my body was so obsessed with the feeling of it, that without intervention, I just couldn't bounce back.
I knew that I needed more to fix myself than a good chat, mindfulness and some fun music. Was I anxious when my doctor handed me my script, Of coarse. Did I have some medication hiccups adjusting to them, that's also a yes.
I never wanted to be medicated. But I definitely knew I needed to be. And it was the best decision I made for myself.
I am not perfect, and I am still not completely okay. My mornings consist of happy music, meds, B Complex Vitamins and a super cool effervescent Multi Vitamin (who doesn't like to drink their vitamins?) Some days even with medication, I have completely shit house days, but "Happy" and "Sane" Jess are now regular visitors to the Brain of Me
So if you're trying natural therapies and they are helping you get back to you, that's brilliant, I'm happy and proud of you.
But if its not, then please, I emplore you. SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP! Do it, do it right now! You have so much to live for, so much to be happy for.
And Remember, Love Yourself Moles!!!
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