Period Chat

Do you know what I hate dealing with more than dealing with two yelling children and anxiety at the same time? Dealing with those two things whilst on my Period! Yes, ladies, today's post is about Periods! Woooo. Now if you find period chat a bit too icky, then you might want to duck out because this post is going to be filled with loads of icky chat.

Period. Menstruation. Aunt Flow. Shark week. Crimson Tide. That time of the month. Rags (urgh, I cringed just writing that one) Whatever you call it, we’ve all suffered through it. The cramps, the mood swings, the binge eating, the fact that our body is perfectly fine but our shower looks like a scene from Dexter. 

Now throw those precious little Gremlins into the works and it's like a disaster movie. You want to be left alone, they want you to play. You need to change your tampon, they want to have a heart to heart about the fact that the snack you provided was not substantial enough and they’re hungry again.

Now, I myself was a pad girl. I couldn’t stand tampons. I could always feel them. Not in an uncomfortable way, just a constantly aware that they’re there way. Which is not cool. When you have your period, the last thing you want is to be reminded that you’re on your period. ALL DAY.  So pads it was. Which of course always leads to over spillage. Yay for high school days, jumpers around your waist to hide the evidence of your uterus exploding.

Now if I knew then, what I know now, I would have jumped the disposable feminine hygiene products in a heartbeat. Did you know that the average woman uses 10,000 – 12,000 Disposable menstrual products in her lifetime?!?! Holy cow! Based on a 14 pack of pads, that’s between 714 and 857 Packets of product! Think of all the money. Think of all that waste. THINK OF ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE OCEAN. Ok, that was jumping a bit further than intended, but you get the idea.

So the best answer I found? A Menstrual Cup.

I’d been tossing up about getting a Menstrual cup for years. I knew I didn’t have to change them as often, there was no risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome and I could reuse it. But the price always scared me. Why would I spend $40 -$60 on a cup for my hoohaa when I could just by a pack of pads for $5. Clearly, I was NOT using my brain here, you know maths. Pack of pads per months x every month until my 50’s at least, when I hit menopause, and have to deal with all the same emotions minus the period YAY. Yer sure, those $5 packets were so the way to go. Loser

So last year in a pharmacy, I finally came face to face with a physical menstrual cup. Staring at me from its DivaCup Size 2 box. Shouting “You’ve had kids, I’m the one you want, we could be best friends” So I said “Ok DivaCup, I think we could be a great team” without doing any actual research and I took it home. I did pay for it first, I didn’t just slip it in my bag like a crazy person.

Well, we were Not a great team. At least not to start with. Fitting a cup takes a little practice, but once you’ve figured out the nack its super quick and super easy. And the bonus! You don’t have to change that sucker for 12 hours! What? So a change in the morning in the shower, and change in the evening…. In the shower!!! No trying to remove products out swinging like Miley Cyrus on a wrecking ball, just a quick removal, tip out, wash and reinsert. Simples.

Except

So like most time-poor mums, who have no concept of self-care and body love, I did not do Kegels after kids. I didn’t do them before that to be perfectly honest. So my pelvic floor Muscle is far from secure in its work position. I sneeze, laugh too hard, jump, run, well if you’ve had kids, you know where I’m heading. And if you don’t… well, I pee myself a little.

Well apparently, due to this, my lady region isn’t great at holding things in. Since my first kid was born in under 9 hrs and my second 4 and a half, from stage 1 – 3, I won’t dispute this. So my “friendly” DivaCup kept trying to escape. As soon as I started getting active or even walking for long periods of time, it would start to creep down, and start sliding out. There were many kindy drop offs where I was racing back to the car, legs together as tight as I could, praying to whatever god, that it would not come all the way out.

And that is an even worse way to live than the ever-present tampon. I almost gave up here, but I didn’t. A little tweaking and working out the kinks, my DivaCup and I did truly become best friends. Did we still have some sliding issues? Yes from time to time, So first note: Do those damn Kegels Ladies. They be important.

 The ease, the money and time savings, my periods were a less stressful time. Until a month ago, when I got the most common lady illness ever. My poor DivaCup and I were attacked by a ruthless Thrush monster. Now after some research, I felt that it was time to say farewell to my beloved friend and purchase a new one for health and safety. Only this time researching the shit out of cups, to find a better fit for me and I found the best website.

The ladies at PUT A CUP IN IT have done all the hard work and research for you. Not only do they have a quiz where they give you the best cup products for your answers, for all those people who already use cups, but they also have a size comparison chart if you’re looking for something bigger or smaller than you have.

Using these tools I picked my new menstrual cup The Tampax Heavy flow. It’s the widest on the market, so no more sliding issues, I hope. We’ll meet on Valentines Day, how romantic. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Now even with the hiccups with the divacup, I love it and I recommend cups to everyone who asks. The pro’s far outweighed the cons for me. My last period without one was just a massive pain. So if you are looking to change it up a bit in regards to how you deal with “Shark Week” head over to PUT A CUP IN IT and do their quiz to get started.

And Remember, Love Yourself Moles