Sh!t my kids say... and do!

Its Hump Day Humor here at The Molehill Mama. A day to reflect on those hilarious things that only children can provide us with.

So Welcome to the first Segment of

  

So yesterday I was actually adulting and cleaning up the cyclone aftermath that is my house. Cleaned the bathrooms, changed the sheets, the whole nine yards. I even changed the bin! Legendary, I know. Said leftover bags went back in the bottom kitchen drawer, where all sane households keep them of coarse.

Flash forward 5 minutes, and I’m enjoying 2 minutes child free time. How did I manage that? I was in the loo, der! Well I suddenly hear a drawer open, and plastic bags rustling. I yell out from me seated position.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING? PUT THOSE BACK”

The reply that came. Fake snoring. Yes, FAKE SNORING.

The plastic bags twisted around the kitchen floor, and Master 2, laying amidst them perfectly still, snoring. His little brain comprehended a threat, and he played dead to avoid it…..

So in the joy of “Sh!t my kids say….. and do!” here is a just a few of the doozies that my kids have come out with in recent times.

MIL: “Well if its like that then, I won’t take you outside anymore.”
Me: “Whats going on?”
MIL: “She just said I hate my Grandma”
Me: “Miss 3, what did you say?”
Miss 3: “I ate my Grandma”

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Me: Laughing at a gif
Miss 3 aggressively runs up to me, gets in my face and yells
“WHAT YOU FIND SO FUNNY”

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Miss 4: Refuses to eat Broccoli and Cauliflower (smothered in cheesy sauce, I might say) chucks a tantrum and is sent to her room. Returns to find her brother feeding the dinner, that she didn’t want, to the dog. Queue second tantrum.

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We stopped at the post box to return some mail.

Miss 4: “Mummy, the car stopped by itself!”
Me: “Yes honey, because our car runs a little bit after I take the key out”
Miss 4: “Silly Mum, cars can’t run, they don’t have legs!”

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Miss 4: Why do birds feed and poop and kill?

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Miss 4: Mummy why do mosquitos bite
Me: Girl Mosquitos bite you to feed their babies
Miss 4: What do they eat?
Me: They bite you for blood, like vampires
Look of horror fills her eyes
Miss 4: That won’t happen to me will it?
Me: Haha no baby, you won’t become a Mosquito
Miss 4: No mum, I meant will they bite me?

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Children being the brutal honesty machines they are, after noticing a sales lady at Priceline had some minor acne issues, Miss 4 marched over, looks up and sprouts out
“WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY SPOTS ON YOUR FACE”

Master 2 hasn't figured out talking yet, but know that I will be ducking for safety when he does.

A couple of followers had some whoppers too 

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I got told my brain was broken this afternoon - Joanna, Facebook
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We were gathered around the table playing board games one night, Miss 10 picks up the magnetic board and asks "Is this made out of fridge" OMG child! - Jo, Facebook
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I was at my friends on Saturday and her daughter Miss 5 was dancing and her son Mr 4 mumbles what sounded like “looking like a little hoe” and we were like WTF! But laughed and we were like what did you say! And he was like “I’m looking at her through the little hole”.... he was sitting on a dining room chair looking through one of the gaps at her. - Megan, Facebook
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L said to me after i picked up chips ' aunty jen, you put that back, thats fat, and you dont need that' - Jenn
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Thanks to everyone who contributed. Keep them coming for next Wednesdays Hump Day Humour!

And Remember, Love yourself Moles